random thaughts

Thursday, April 22, 2004

I have been pretty down lately. Really kind of depressed. I look around and i see all of my friends who are in relationships, and they are there with the person they love. Everything seems to be working for them, even if they argue, they are right there to make up. It has been so long since i have had any physical contact with Karen, i dont remember what it is like, but i see everyone else, and i want to do that too. I know that deep down inside i love karen, but are we still the same people that were were, in this relationship almost 2 years ago, when she left? NO, we are not. Will we still be able to stay together, and makethings work, i dont know. Do i want to go there, and leave everything behind. Do i want to stay and just make a final end to the relationship. Do i want something more form someone else? I know not what to do, but i think i better figure it out pretty damn soon!

Sunday, April 18, 2004

well lets see, im engaged to somewone who i am not totaly sure about at the moment, but i also find that i am very attracted to 2 othere people, and have some strong feelings for them. How am i supposed to make up my mind, about what i am supposed to do with my life. i really think i just need to get away from them all, and everything. I need to go camping. Just get away from alll of this stuff. I again am getting to the point that i really dont know what to do about it, so i think that i might just have to start meditating more than i already do, and try and figure things out

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